"This is about drawing a line in the sand, man. Across this line, you DO NOT..."
I was born into Alabama fandom. My dad went to school there and taught me to cheer for them as I was just learning to talk. I try to remember this fact when I'm asking the question "Why would someone CHOOSE to cheer for Auburn if they live in Alabama?" Maybe they didn't choose it, maybe it chose them the way Alabama chose me. I could write an entire post on this, but the point of bringing it up is to say that I chose to be a Celtics fan. More accurately, I chose to be a Larry Bird fan. One of my earliest memories was watching Bird against the Lakers. Through a set of 7-year old eyes, I can remember thinking that he was one guy against an entire team of fast athletic guys. And he fought them off, time and again. He stood out. He was incredible. So I cheered for his team. Go Celtics!
As a middle schooler, I went through a Hornets phase, but really it was just for the cool Starter Jacket (should I have italicized "cool" or Starter there?). I still pulled for the Celtics...even though they stunk. The only thing that really stood out about them in those years was the "Blind Man" dunk Dee Brown did in the Slam Dunk contest. They were difficult to pull for, but I still did because of the memories of Larry fighting off the villains like Wyatt Earp.
I never really hated the Lakers when I was a kid. They were just the team against my team. How do you not like Magic, James Worthy, Byron Scott? Kareem...ok I didn't ever like him. But they were fun to watch for a little kid with all their dunking and no-look passes. I didn't grasp that you had to hate your rival yet (although my dad was trying to get me to understand it about Tennessee football). Go Celtics! The Lakers...whatever.
I'll fast forward through the Jordan years because if you couldn't root for Jordan (especially while your team wasn't even in the playoffs to root for) then, well, you didn't like basketball.
We'll pick up with when I began to hate the Lakers. They traded for Shaq. Shaq was /is everything that basketball is not supposed to be. He held advantages because of nothing that had to do with hard work or basketball skill. He beat you up and then dunked it because he was bigger and taller than anyone he matched up against. The refs let him do it because ever since Jordan, superstars got the calls. He was a walking offensive foul. When Hakeem played Shaq in the 95 Finals, I was giddy at the way he showed the world what a virtuoso basketball player plays like verses a bumbling brute who never worked on his free throws. Now Shaq was a Laker, so I was going to root against his team (unless it was the Celtics), no matter who it was.
Other Laker hatables: Rick Fox - what a punk! His hair, his mannerisms, he was incredibly annoying to watch. Bob Horry - I never hated him, just hated that he made huge shots for this team. Same for Derek Fisher. Kobe Bryant...I'll get back to him since he's still a Laker.
During this time, the Lakers had a nice rivalry going with the Kings (who Shaq called the "Queens," which I must admit was pretty awesome). The Kings ran fast breaks, threw backdoor passes, hit outside shots, and loved playing with each other. They were easy to root for in those games. The Lakers would hoist bad shots, and Shaq would climb over someone's back, throw them out of the way and slam a putback down. Or they would have Rick Fox mug someone, then throw the ball ahead to Kobe for a Jordan-impression dunk. They hated each other, and you could tell. Fox, and Fisher got along, but that was about it. They couldn't stand Kobe, and they deferred to Shaq because they had to (all except Kobe anyway). All the while Phil Jackson was riding superstars to the title of "best coach in NBA history." Phil, by the way is a heck of a coach, but I respect about 6 living coaches more than him. I don't hate Phil, just think he's a little over-rated. The Lakers won because they were good, but they also won because they were lucky.
Horry's dagger against the Kings was a perfect combination of both. He had the skill and "onions" to hit the shot, but it was extremely fortunate for them that their 6'10 power forward was standing on the 3-point line, down by 2 as both squads fought for a rebound...why wasn't he in the lane again? Hey, the Kings were soft and the Lakers weren't and that's why they always beat them (that, and the widely accepted conspiracy theory about how Game 6 in Sacramento was fixed). But none of that changed the fact that the Lakers were part of what I hated about pro basketball at the time: Kobe goes one-on-one, and Shaq plays football.
Meanwhile, the Celtics were equally hard for me to watch. Antoine Walker was a maddening player to pull for. Paul Pierce (and he still does this), takes terrible shots that go in, so he keeps taking them. They never really made much noise (went to the Eastern Conference Finals in 2002), so they were never relevant to many discussions involving the Lakers. I stilled cared about them and pulled for them, but they rarely did anything to reward that. The Rick Pitino years were awful (and I still like Pitino even though he did some severe damage to the franchise). Eventually, after a number of terrible moves and bad luck, the Celtics scored big with the trades for Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. I could not have been more excited to get Garnett. He was a team guy. He had stuck it out with a crappy franchise out of loyalty and heart. He played with emotion and guts. He was my favorite player in the NBA, and now he was a Celtic.
Ray was another one I'd always admired, but not to the same degree. Looking back, I can't believe it worked so well, that these two guys who were so used to being the team leader would accept less minutes and shots after all these years of getting the lion's share of both. Even more unbelievable is that Pierce would allow these other stars to come in on HIS team and be leaders and take some of his spot light away. But they made it work. Why? because they wanted to WIN. That had become the most important thing to them. Unlike...
Kobe and Shaq's divorce happened after they were beaten at their own game - a physical Detroit team spanked that tail in 2004. Kobe cries and moans to get his dominant center, and Hall-of-Fame coach shipped out of town so he can run things his way. Does that sound like a winner? Is his main goal to win or be the unquestioned scorer on the team?
Phil Jackson writes a book about how awful it was trying to coach this petulant, whining, baby who would rather lose and score 40 than win in a team system. Then he comes back to coach him. More than once, Kobe quits during games in an attempt to prove a point to his coach (that he shouldn't have to pass to such awful teammates). Again, is he a winner or a selfish player?
I could go on all day about what I hate about Kobe. I won't, but I could. So, let me begin with some disclaimers:
- I like Paul Pierce and hate Kobe Bryant even though they do a lot of the same things on the court. They play one-on-one in crunch time, and take terrible shots that go against the team concept of the game I love.
- Kobe is better at basketball than I would like to admit. He's smart, and plays strategically even when I'd like to say he's just being selfish and stubborn.
- Last night, I watched him make a series of unbelievable shots and will the Lakers over the Suns in Pheonix, a performance that I'm not sure any other current player could have pulled off.
- Part of what I hate about Kobe is not even his fault - it is the media gushing over him and not mentioning all the things about him that are negative and terrible. For instance, when his teams were losing in the first round and they would talk about how difficult it must have been for him...I wanted to scream, "HE CREATED THIS SITUATION BY DEMANDING THEY BLOW THE CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM UP!"
- The Colorado trial is best not to go into, but I wanted to scream those first four words from the last point about that too. It also revealed a lot about Kobe that he told the police that his teammate, Shaq had done the same thing as him plenty of times and just bought the women off. How noble of Kobe not to do that!
- If Michael Jordan had never existed, Kobe wouldn't be so difficult for me to stomach. It is not entirely fair to compare anyone to Jordan, even though Kobe basically asks you to compare them with his every action on the basketball court. Jordan had a lot of advantages in terms of media coverage and teammates covering for him being an a-hole, that Kobe never had. If Jordan had not ever been around, Kobe would seem a lot more original to me. Instead, I always feel like he's doing a cheap Jordan impression, and the media loves to compare the two.
- It shouldn't count against Kobe that he won three championships as Shaq's sidekick. But it also should be taken into consideration if we are playing the "who's the greatest player" game. Winning is winning, but no one is telling me that Robert Horry is better than Larry Bird because he has more rings. Horry, like Kobe rode Shaq to several of those titles. At the same time, I want to hold it against Kobe that he won those as a sidekick. But what is the answer, to disregard those rings? No. Just accept them in the proper perspective.
Ok, disclaimers out of the way. My biggest problem with Kobe is that there is nothing genuine about him to me aside from his desire to be considered one of the greats. Before you say it, yes, that is a noble sounding problem to have but here's my tweak: the other guys that were great were great because they wanted to win first and the accolades they received were a by-product of winning. Kobe wants it out of order. I feel like he's only just realizing that the winning comes first and then you can be in the discussion as one of the greats (LeBron by the way will be realizing that soon. Hopefully BEFORE he decides where he's playing). Kobe's mugging at teammates, jawing with the refs, and posturing after big shots all seems so fake to me. He grew up watching basketball, and I think (a lot like A-Rod by the way), he never developed an identity of his own, he just adopted the mannerisms of the players he wanted to be like. Take this chin-poking thing he's doing. He's never done that before last year. He was 33 when he started doing it. Haven't you developed all your involuntary reactions to things by the time you're like 18 years old? It is a calculated thing he's trying to do. It's like he's begging you to believe that he's a killer out there instead of just being one and letting the moments happen. You know who let the moments just happen? All the people Kobe is trying to surpass in the discussion of the greatest of all time.
It also says a lot to me if a guy's teammates don't like him. And Kobe has never had teammates that like him...ever. His current teammates like that he bails them out with insane clutch plays, but I don't think they want to hang around him. I think they find him insufferable. Maybe I'm projecting because I find him insufferable. I don't know, but that is the "short version" of my hatred for Kobe. I like team guys who put the winning above anything else, and Kobe has NEVER done that. His priorities are geared more toward the perception of being a "winner" than they are about actually winning. The 2008 Finals told you everything you needed to know about the differences between the Celtics stars and Kobe Bryant.
Other Lakers in bullets since this has turned into a meandering stream of consciousness bash-fest:
- Pau Gasol - I can't stand how soft he is while pretending to be a tough guy. I can't stand how he complains to the media about how he doesn't get enough shots after they win the game. But my least favorite thing about him is a broad one: I hat watching him on the court. He's effeminate out there. When something doesn't go right for him (missed shot, turnover, missed rebound, whatever), he always looks to a ref or to his bench in with an incredulous look on his face. It reminds me of when a golfer misses a putt and then motions with his arm at the green like "it was supposed to break THAT way." Pau looks around when something doesn't go right as if he's saying with a thick Spainish accent, "It is impossible that I would make mistake. Dis is someone else fault." When he does something good, he does one of two annoying things - a) he immediately looks for Kobe on the court to see if he approves and then goes and gently touches his head to Kobe's head. What is that?! Or b) he tries to look tough by screaming, only he's not tough looking so it comes off as forced.
- Ron Artest - honestly, I kind of like Artest. But when he makes a shot it always seems lucky to me. But he plays hard and he sometimes screws the Lakers' offensive flow up. So I don't mind him so much.
- Lamar Odom - everyone gets on Rasheed Wallace for not caring enough (I'm at the head of this line, by the way). But there is not a player who would improve more by just caring about the game than Lamar Odom. He could be a top-10 player in the league, but he just doesn't want it.
- Derek Fisher - I would love Fisher if he didn't play for the Lakers. Other than Kobe, he hits the biggest shots for them, and that is about the only thing I hate about him...that and the dirty plays he makes.
- Andrew Bynum - the one thing that I can sympathize with Kobe on is wanting Bynum out of LA. He's a younger version of Odom. He takes up space and can be good at times, but deep down, he's soft.
- Sasha Vujacic - are you kidding me? There is no other player in the league who elicits more hate than this guy. Even guys on his own team can't stand him. My only wish last night after it was obvious that the Suns were going to lose was that someone go and punch him in his face. What's the worst that can happen. By the way, there's no crying in basketball.
I think that's it for my Laker hate for now. The rest of them, like Luke Walton and Jordan Farmar aren't even worth a bullet point. Don't get me wrong, the Celtics aren't perfect, but at least they are playing for the right team. The whole point of me doing this was to get it out there that I haven't always hated the Lakers...I've just never liked the Lakers that have either Shaq or Kobe on the team. And it's been a long time since they've been without one of those two.
As for my prediction, I have been short on confidence for the Celtics this entire post season. I'm sorried about their chances of winning this series, not only because it will be tough to beat LA, but also because if they were going to lose, I didn't want it to be to the Lakers (I really would have settled for ANYONE but the Lakers). So there is a lot riding on this. In my head, I'm very worried about beating a Laker team with home court advantage.
But in my heart, I WANT those softies on the court. I want to see Garnett intimidate and feast on the wispy Gasol. I want to see Bynum ask to be taken out after Perkins bodies him out of the lane for 10 consecutive trips. I want to see Ray Allen frustrate Kobe by running off screens and burying 3's from the wing. And I want to see Rondo expose Fisher for being too old and slow. But mostly, I want to see Pierce out-duel Kobe and then listen to all these writers back-track on their position that it's Jordan-1 and Kobe 1A. I want this series. I just hope these hateable Lakers don't make me sorry I wanted it.
Beat LA!
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