Hating the Lakers and Loving the Celtics

"This is about drawing a line in the sand, man. Across this line, you DO NOT..."

I was born into Alabama fandom. My dad went to school there and taught me to cheer for them as I was just learning to talk. I try to remember this fact when I'm asking the question "Why would someone CHOOSE to cheer for Auburn if they live in Alabama?" Maybe they didn't choose it, maybe it chose them the way Alabama chose me. I could write an entire post on this, but the point of bringing it up is to say that I chose to be a Celtics fan. More accurately, I chose to be a Larry Bird fan. One of my earliest memories was watching Bird against the Lakers. Through a set of 7-year old eyes, I can remember thinking that he was one guy against an entire team of fast athletic guys. And he fought them off, time and again. He stood out. He was incredible. So I cheered for his team. Go Celtics!

As a middle schooler, I went through a Hornets phase, but really it was just for the cool Starter Jacket (should I have italicized "cool" or Starter there?). I still pulled for the Celtics...even though they stunk. The only thing that really stood out about them in those years was the "Blind Man" dunk Dee Brown did in the Slam Dunk contest. They were difficult to pull for, but I still did because of the memories of Larry fighting off the villains like Wyatt Earp.

I never really hated the Lakers when I was a kid. They were just the team against my team. How do you not like Magic, James Worthy, Byron Scott? Kareem...ok I didn't ever like him. But they were fun to watch for a little kid with all their dunking and no-look passes. I didn't grasp that you had to hate your rival yet (although my dad was trying to get me to understand it about Tennessee football). Go Celtics! The Lakers...whatever.

I'll fast forward through the Jordan years because if you couldn't root for Jordan (especially while your team wasn't even in the playoffs to root for) then, well, you didn't like basketball.

We'll pick up with when I began to hate the Lakers. They traded for Shaq. Shaq was /is everything that basketball is not supposed to be. He held advantages because of nothing that had to do with hard work or basketball skill. He beat you up and then dunked it because he was bigger and taller than anyone he matched up against. The refs let him do it because ever since Jordan, superstars got the calls. He was a walking offensive foul. When Hakeem played Shaq in the 95 Finals, I was giddy at the way he showed the world what a virtuoso basketball player plays like verses a bumbling brute who never worked on his free throws. Now Shaq was a Laker, so I was going to root against his team (unless it was the Celtics), no matter who it was.

Other Laker hatables: Rick Fox - what a punk! His hair, his mannerisms, he was incredibly annoying to watch. Bob Horry - I never hated him, just hated that he made huge shots for this team. Same for Derek Fisher. Kobe Bryant...I'll get back to him since he's still a Laker.

During this time, the Lakers had a nice rivalry going with the Kings (who Shaq called the "Queens," which I must admit was pretty awesome). The Kings ran fast breaks, threw backdoor passes, hit outside shots, and loved playing with each other. They were easy to root for in those games. The Lakers would hoist bad shots, and Shaq would climb over someone's back, throw them out of the way and slam a putback down. Or they would have Rick Fox mug someone, then throw the ball ahead to Kobe for a Jordan-impression dunk. They hated each other, and you could tell. Fox, and Fisher got along, but that was about it. They couldn't stand Kobe, and they deferred to Shaq because they had to (all except Kobe anyway). All the while Phil Jackson was riding superstars to the title of "best coach in NBA history." Phil, by the way is a heck of a coach, but I respect about 6 living coaches more than him. I don't hate Phil, just think he's a little over-rated. The Lakers won because they were good, but they also won because they were lucky.

Horry's dagger against the Kings was a perfect combination of both. He had the skill and "onions" to hit the shot, but it was extremely fortunate for them that their 6'10 power forward was standing on the 3-point line, down by 2 as both squads fought for a rebound...why wasn't he in the lane again? Hey, the Kings were soft and the Lakers weren't and that's why they always beat them (that, and the widely accepted conspiracy theory about how Game 6 in Sacramento was fixed). But none of that changed the fact that the Lakers were part of what I hated about pro basketball at the time: Kobe goes one-on-one, and Shaq plays football.

Meanwhile, the Celtics were equally hard for me to watch. Antoine Walker was a maddening player to pull for. Paul Pierce (and he still does this), takes terrible shots that go in, so he keeps taking them. They never really made much noise (went to the Eastern Conference Finals in 2002), so they were never relevant to many discussions involving the Lakers. I stilled cared about them and pulled for them, but they rarely did anything to reward that. The Rick Pitino years were awful (and I still like Pitino even though he did some severe damage to the franchise). Eventually, after a number of terrible moves and bad luck, the Celtics scored big with the trades for Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. I could not have been more excited to get Garnett. He was a team guy. He had stuck it out with a crappy franchise out of loyalty and heart. He played with emotion and guts. He was my favorite player in the NBA, and now he was a Celtic.

Ray was another one I'd always admired, but not to the same degree. Looking back, I can't believe it worked so well, that these two guys who were so used to being the team leader would accept less minutes and shots after all these years of getting the lion's share of both. Even more unbelievable is that Pierce would allow these other stars to come in on HIS team and be leaders and take some of his spot light away. But they made it work. Why? because they wanted to WIN. That had become the most important thing to them. Unlike...

Kobe and Shaq's divorce happened after they were beaten at their own game - a physical Detroit team spanked that tail in 2004. Kobe cries and moans to get his dominant center, and Hall-of-Fame coach shipped out of town so he can run things his way. Does that sound like a winner? Is his main goal to win or be the unquestioned scorer on the team?

Phil Jackson writes a book about how awful it was trying to coach this petulant, whining, baby who would rather lose and score 40 than win in a team system. Then he comes back to coach him. More than once, Kobe quits during games in an attempt to prove a point to his coach (that he shouldn't have to pass to such awful teammates). Again, is he a winner or a selfish player?

I could go on all day about what I hate about Kobe. I won't, but I could. So, let me begin with some disclaimers:

whoops, sorry,

• I like Paul Pierce and hate Kobe Bryant even though they do a lot of the same things on the court. They play one-on-one in crunch time, and take terrible shots that go against the team concept of the game I love.
• Kobe is better at basketball than I would like to admit. He's smart, and plays strategically even when I'd like to say he's just being selfish and stubborn.
• Last night, I watched him make a series of unbelievable shots and will the Lakers over the Suns in Pheonix, a performance that I'm not sure any other current player could have pulled off.
• Part of what I hate about Kobe is not even his fault - it is the media gushing over him and not mentioning all the things about him that are negative and terrible. For instance, when his teams were losing in the first round and they would talk about how difficult it must have been for him...I wanted to scream, "HE CREATED THIS SITUATION BY DEMANDING THEY BLOW THE CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM UP!"
• The Colorado trial is best not to go into, but I wanted to scream those first four words from the last point about that too. It also revealed a lot about Kobe that he told the police that his teammate, Shaq had done the same thing as him plenty of times and just bought the women off. How noble of Kobe not to do that!
• If Michael Jordan had never existed, Kobe wouldn't be so difficult for me to stomach. It is not entirely fair to compare anyone to Jordan, even though Kobe basically asks you to compare them with his every action on the basketball court. Jordan had a lot of advantages in terms of media coverage and teammates covering for him being an a-hole, that Kobe never had. If Jordan had not ever been around, Kobe would seem a lot more original to me. Instead, I always feel like he's doing a cheap Jordan impression, and the media loves to compare the two.
• It shouldn't count against Kobe that he won three championships as Shaq's sidekick. But it also should be taken into consideration if we are playing the "who's the greatest player" game. Winning is winning, but no one is telling me that Robert Horry is better than Larry Bird because he has more rings. Horry, like Kobe rode Shaq to several of those titles. At the same time, I want to hold it against Kobe that he won those as a sidekick. But what is the answer, to disregard those rings? No. Just accept them in the proper perspective.

Ok, disclaimers out of the way. My biggest problem with Kobe is that there is nothing genuine about him to me aside from his desire to be considered one of the greats. Before you say it, yes, that is a noble sounding problem to have but here's my tweak: the other guys that were great were great because they wanted to win first and the accolades they received were a by-product of winning. Kobe wants it out of order. I feel like he's only just realizing that the winning comes first and then you can be in the discussion as one of the greats (LeBron by the way will be realizing that soon. Hopefully BEFORE he decides where he's playing). Kobe's mugging at teammates, jawing with the refs, and posturing after big shots all seems so fake to me. He grew up watching basketball, and I think (a lot like A-Rod by the way), he never developed an identity of his own, he just adopted the mannerisms of the players he wanted to be like. Take this chin-poking thing he's doing. He's never done that before last year. He was 33 when he started doing it. Haven't you developed all your involuntary reactions to things by the time you're like 18 years old? It is a calculated thing he's trying to do. It's like he's begging you to believe that he's a killer out there instead of just being one and letting the moments happen. You know who let the moments just happen? All the people Kobe is trying to surpass in the discussion of the greatest of all time.

It also says a lot to me if a guy's teammates don't like him. And Kobe has never had teammates that like him...ever. His current teammates like that he bails them out with insane clutch plays, but I don't think they want to hang around him. I think they find him insufferable. Maybe I'm projecting because I find him insufferable. I don't know, but that is the "short version" of my hatred for Kobe. I like team guys who put the winning above anything else, and Kobe has NEVER done that. His priorities are geared more toward the perception of being a "winner" than they are about actually winning. The 2008 Finals told you everything you needed to know about the differences between the Celtics stars and Kobe Bryant.

Other Lakers in bullets since this has turned into a meandering stream of consciousness bash-fest:

• Pau Gasol - I can't stand how soft he is while pretending to be a tough guy. I can't stand how he complains to the media about how he doesn't get enough shots after they win the game. But my least favorite thing about him is a broad one: I hat watching him on the court. He's effeminate out there. When something doesn't go right for him (missed shot, turnover, missed rebound, whatever), he always looks to a ref or to his bench in with an incredulous look on his face. It reminds me of when a golfer misses a putt and then motions with his arm at the green like "it was supposed to break THAT way." Pau looks around when something doesn't go right as if he's saying with a thick Spainish accent, "It is impossible that I would make mistake. Dis is someone else fault." When he does something good, he does one of two annoying things - a) he immediately looks for Kobe on the court to see if he approves and then goes and gently touches his head to Kobe's head. What is that?! Or b) he tries to look tough by screaming, only he's not tough looking so it comes off as forced.

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• Ron Artest - honestly, I kind of like Artest. But when he makes a shot it always seems lucky to me. But he plays hard and he sometimes screws the Lakers' offensive flow up. So I don't mind him so much.
• Lamar Odom - everyone gets on Rasheed Wallace for not caring enough (I'm at the head of this line, by the way). But there is not a player who would improve more by just caring about the game than Lamar Odom. He could be a top-10 player in the league, but he just doesn't want it.
• Derek Fisher - I would love Fisher if he didn't play for the Lakers. Other than Kobe, he hits the biggest shots for them, and that is about the only thing I hate about him...that and the dirty plays he makes.
• Andrew Bynum - the one thing that I can sympathize with Kobe on is wanting Bynum out of LA. He's a younger version of Odom. He takes up space and can be good at times, but deep down, he's soft.

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• Sasha Vujacic - are you kidding me? There is no other player in the league who elicits more hate than this guy. Even guys on his own team can't stand him. My only wish last night after it was obvious that the Suns were going to lose was that someone go and punch him in his face. What's the worst that can happen. By the way, there's no crying in basketball.

I think that's it for my Laker hate for now. The rest of them, like Luke Walton and Jordan Farmar aren't even worth a bullet point. Don't get me wrong, the Celtics aren't perfect, but at least they are playing for the right team. The whole point of me doing this was to get it out there that I haven't always hated the Lakers...I've just never liked the Lakers that have either Shaq or Kobe on the team. And it's been a long time since they've been without one of those two.

As for my prediction, I have been short on confidence for the Celtics this entire post season. I'm sorried about their chances of winning this series, not only because it will be tough to beat LA, but also because if they were going to lose, I didn't want it to be to the Lakers (I really would have settled for ANYONE but the Lakers). So there is a lot riding on this. In my head, I'm very worried about beating a Laker team with home court advantage.

But in my heart, I WANT those softies on the court. I want to see Garnett intimidate and feast on the wispy Gasol. I want to see Bynum ask to be taken out after Perkins bodies him out of the lane for 10 consecutive trips. I want to see Ray Allen frustrate Kobe by running off screens and burying 3's from the wing. And I want to see Rondo expose Fisher for being too old and slow. But mostly, I want to see Pierce out-duel Kobe and then listen to all these writers back-track on their position that it's Jordan-1 and Kobe 1A. I want this series. I just hope these hateable Lakers don't make me sorry I wanted it.

Beat LA!

Game Over

We haven't watched American Idol in 3 weeks now. Why? Because my team mathematically eliminated Dana's and the show is terrible now. They eliminated Siobhan and, in doing so, eliminated any chance for entertainment we had left.

Luckily, there has been entertainment elsewhere (SPORTS!), and in a new show.

Dana and I (really just me) have been enjoying a new to us show - Breaking Bad. It has been called the best show on tv right now. I don't know, but it is in the conversation in terms of performances. Totally dark and anxiety-filled (part of why Dana isn't crazy about it), but the acting job by Bryan Cranston is the best this side of Pau Gasol.

The show is about a high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Rather than leave his family with nothing, he decides to cook meth to make some money fast before he dies. That is just the jumping off point because it is much more a character study of this man than anything else, and it is awesome. Try it out, but don't expect warm and fuzzy.

Playoffs! The Celtics did it! I gave them no chance of beating Cleveland going into the series. For the last 4 months, they'd looked lethargic, old, uninspired, and crappy. They looked finished. I can't even feel that bad for predicting they would definitely lose before now. Garnett has turned himself around, and no one is as happy as me. I love the guy. Glad he's got a little left in the tank, and maybe a lot. Out of the "Big Three" only Ray Allen looked like himself before that series most of the time. The last few games (ever since LeBron decided to guard Rondo, leaving Pierce and Allen to Mo Williams), the old guys got it going, and the Celtics have been looking good. If nothing else, they have been fun to watch again.

Can they beat the Magic now that they've started the LeBron sweepstakes a month early? I still don't know (and at this point, they've already taken Game 1 in which they looked to be in total control for all but about 5 minutes of the game). But they look as good as any team left right now.

Speaking of the LeBron thing, I really want him to go somewhere else. To win a title, you need a committed front office, and a committed superstar. Cleveland has neither of those right now. LeBron is too worried about his image, and the Cavs office is happy to say "It's all on LeBron, he's the best. We'll surround him with yes-men teammates and yes-men coaches, and then we'll sit back and pat ourselves on the back until he delivers." He needs the right situation the same way every NBA superstar has needed the right situation (in my lifetime, I've never seen a one-man team win it - Jordan always had Pippen). I had hoped he could definitively end the LeBron-Kobe debate (he IS better, by the way). But he didn't and he won't until he wins a title. Kobe's supporting cast is three times as good as LeBron's, but Kobe still has him beat for sheer competitiveness. LeBron is too nice, too worried about being cool. People like him because of that, but he can't win on niceness. He's got to be a killer.

Nobody likes Kobe because he's not cool. He's not even good at pretending to be cool. You know who thinks he's cool? Stuart Scott - the man who re-invented not cool. But Kobe at least understands that the guys around him will not win games unless he MAKES them. Winning is hard, and the Celtics made it very hard on LeBron. When they did, he was looking around for someone else to help him and they were all looking to him. With everyone looking around, the Celtics smelled blood (they were SO nasty, it was awesome). Don't get me wrong, Kobe has shrunk from that challenge plenty of times in big games. When it happened, I would say, "See?! Jordan would never let his team get beaten in a pivotal game by 30 points. He'd never disappear like that." I enjoyed saying that about Kobe. I didn't want to say it about LeBron. I'm saying it now though. If he wants to win, he needs to be in a situation where he can look around in those big moments (it is his nature to share those moments instead of singularly take them over), and see a player like Derrick Rose.

Jordan never looked around, because he was the assassin. He was also a one-of-a-kind. LeBron isn't a cold-blooded killer. He's a front-runner right now. He needs to be in the right situation to become a killer. It would be neat if he could have that in New York, but he wouldn't. It has been shown that he won't have it in Cleveland. He should go to Chicago, and it would be fun to watch if he did.

Last playoff thought, and it is a familiar one. I am fine with anyone but the Lakers winning it all. And I would prefer them to lose because Kobe stunk it up. My dream match-up would be the Celtics and the Suns...I wouldn't even be mad if the Celts lost because that would mean that Nash finally hung a banner.

Alright, I've said my peace and counted to three...off to watch another NBA game.

Jacksons Day Off

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

--Ferris Bueller

The high school is closed tomorrow, so Kent has the day off. I decided to join him and take a day off work myself. I haven't had a day off since Christmas, so I'm pretty excited to get outside during the afternoon, have lunch with my husband, and spend the day relaxed and having fun. Lately, my job has been pretty intense and very busy. Friday will be a nice break. Hope you have a great Friday too :)

Another post?!

We're posting again?! What's gotten into us? This isn't the once a month pace we've had. Three posts in 6 days. Holy crap!

This one will be quick though, not really. In the words of Marty McFly, "Try and keep up."

-The Tone Deafs are sitting on a 7 point lead, 22-15. How, you ask? Katie Stevens edged Andrew Garcia for the number 8 overall spot and got 10 points for me. Add that with the predictions part of the game and...well...you don't care about the system, just the score. So there it is.

Let's rank the contestants from a like-ability standpoint in reverse order just for fun. This is not based on talent, but instead how easy it is to root for the contestant.

7. Mike Lynch --there is something decidedly fake about this guy. He's got a good voice. For the most part, he picks songs that work for him. But I always feel like he's only playing the part of the big teddy bear for the cameras and then he's different when the "record" light is off. He seemed mad when he found out he didn't get the votes, and then he seemed unappreciative when the judges saved him. Also, this character that he's invented - "likable guy" - is sort of annoying to me anyway. Not a fan.

6. Aaron Kelly -- the reason he beat Mike out is because he is at least genuine. He can't dance but tries to, he seems nervous all the time, he has one trick and has ridden it all the way out. But in case you didn't know (and don't worry because Seacrest will remind you), he's only 16. So, it's at least understandable that he has all of those things working against him. And he is what he is. As Frank Costanza would say, "This guy...he's not my kind of guy."

5. Lee Dewyze -- also a seemingly one-trick pony. No stage presence, should never dance, screams a lot. But he seems like a pretty nice guy. He is humble, and the others seem to like him. His taste in music is absurd, but he at least sings those songs in a less annoying way than the original (of course with the GLARING exception of Hey Jude in which he knew he was outclassed by the song and decided to divert all of our attention from that fact by marching out a bagpiper. Wha?!). He's at least a little more like-able than he used to be.

4. Crystal Bowersox -- by far the favorite. She is humble about being in another league than everyone else on the show. She can be a little boring (personality-wise), but that's ok if the alternative is Adam Lambert. Give me boring every time.

3. Tim Urban -- I've see-sawed on Tim every week. His temperament while the judges were killing him was all an act, but what can you do? If you get mad, America votes you off. He handled it well. And he's learned a valuable lesson in life: good looking people can get away with anything...ANYTHING. Remember the slide across the stage?

2. Casey James -- one dimensional, headed for an earlier exit than originally projected (he was my number 1 pick), may be a robot. At least he's a like-able robot. He seems like he's having fun, he can legitimately play the guitar, and he's easy to root for. And I'm glad that the whole "Kara has a crush" angle is over with.

1. Siobhan Magnus -- So strange. The way she talks, the stuff she wears, the glasses, her theatrical reactions to criticisms...why is she number 1? Because she's easily the most entertaining person on the show (aside from Simon). She does have a good voice, but not the best on the show. She's scrapped the scream in every song thing. She is the like-able version of Adam Lambert because this is REALLY who she is. She's not playing a part, she is just this strange. I look forward to her more than anyone each time. Is that like-ability? Maybe so. And among this group, any entertainment is valuable.

How can she not be your favorite?

Now, for the NBA playoffs thoughts as they start today.

-Once again, my rooting interest is this: Celtics, anyone but the Lakers.

-I know the Celtics top out in the second round. So, I really just don't want to see Kobe win again.

-Looking forward to watching Kevin Durant. This seems to be the only way that OKC gets to be on national tv even though Durant is emerging as a must-see talent.

-I would love for LeBron to win this year. It would not only cement him above Kobe in the discussion, but also throw a new element into the free-agency thing this summer.

-I think Kevin Garnett needs to retire after this year. He's not going to win another title unless he pulls a Mitch Richmond and joins an NBA favorite to sit on their bench. He's what I always feared for him -- an NBA version of the guy in the YMCA pick-up games who used to be good, plays "old man" defense, and is too competitive to relinquish any of his role to players who can actually get it done. I love Garnett. He's one of my favorites of all time. But this is getting sad quick. He needs to stop now while he can still hear the cheers of 2008.

Nice and tight LeBron, nice and tight.

-My prediction is that the Cavs will win the NBA title over the Lakers in 5 games and LeBron will de-pants Kobe in the discussion of who is the better player. And yes, this is also my hope for what happens.

Other scattered thoughts:

-Even though we turned in our tax documents in early March, our accountant had to file an extension. This did not sit well with us.

-My little weight-loss resolution is off to a decent start. I'm down 2 lbs. Homewood High had a benefit for cancer research in which the students donated money for faculty and staff to sit and ride stationary bikes all day at the school on Friday. I was all about it. What I did not know was how hard this was on your, um, haunches. Those bike seats take a giant toll on your back side, and round about hour 3 I heard these kinds of comments from some of the students: "Mr. Jackson, are you ok?" "Mr. Jackson, why are you sitting like that?" "Mr. Jackson, can I get you some ice or something?"

If only I'd had something like this...

-I've been listening to Timothy Keller podcasts lately and getting a lot out of them. He's a Presbyterian minister up in New York and an author of several books. I just like the way he thinks about things and then expresses them. It's very rooted in the scriptures and helpful in keeping a good and positive outlook. Give him a try sometime when you have a 20-30 minute drive and you won't be disappointed.

Wonderful Weekend

Oh Monday, you are not as fun as Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Thus, more weekend highlights:

Mini BLTs

Kent and I attended a friend's wedding this weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony, rocking reception, and general good time with lots of friends. One of the most memorable features of the wedding though....mini BLTs, or for the non-obsessive (bite-size bacon, lettuce, and tomato). This is more than just reception food. While planning our wedding, almost 2 years ago, Kent and I tried the mini BLTs at a tasting and fell in love instantly. They were at our wedding, but as most married couples know, we hardly ate anything at our reception. We talk about those mini BLTs all the time and wish we'd had them when we had the chance.

Flash to this weekend: because I know way too much about weddings, I knew that our friend was using the same caterer we used. Imagine our excitement at the prospect of our favorite wedding snack. Imagine our joy at finding trays filled with the tiny treats. Imagine our shame at eating far more than our allotment by the end of the night. Amazing.

Prom-tastic Friday

All week, I'd been dying to go out to dinner. In the interest of saving money, we held out until the weekend, and by that point I was so excited for our dinner date. We decided on a place called Michael's, one of our new favorites because they make those awesome skinny french fries. It has good atmosphere and is perfect for sophisticated adults like ourselves. Who knew that Friday night was prom night for one of the area high schools? EVERY table in the restaurant was filled with tuxedos of ALL colors, sparkly dresses, and lots of self-portrait picture taking. I immediately felt 100 years old. Kent and I ended up eating at the only viable seat...the bar, with a bird's eye view of all the adolescent adrenaline. We made a few jokes, reminisced about high school memories, wished we'd been together back then, watched a weird man talk to random strangers at the bar, and yes, feasted on skinny fries.

It was great :)

If only we'd seen this....

Homemaking

As described in the previous post, we're all about our yard lately. The warm weather has done something to our brains. I'm obsessed with watering our plants every day when I get home (with my nifty new watering can that Kent got me). Kent is masterful at digging up ugly plants and replacing them with our little seedlings. It's been so much fun, and we love checking on them every day to see if anything has grown. Progress is slow, but our yard already looks SO much better. And the neighbors are probably relieved that the pile of leaves on our curb is finally gone after months. Aren't those supposed to just disintegrate into the ground after a few weeks? All of this yard work has gotten us thinking about other house projects, and while we may not be able to do them all at once, it's fun to dream and get to work at making our house more homey....more "us."

So, there is my random weekend recap. This may be a record-sized post for me! A new start, hmm? I'm trying to make peace with the blog.

Blah Blah Blog

not the welcome walk we need

Time to update, but there's not much going on that is big and exciting with the Jacksons. But the title of the blog is "Interesting to Us," so you will read every minute detail no matter how irrelevant you find it to be.

Dana and I have done some more gardening. No, we learned nothing from the hydrangea bush we tortured to death by planting in scorching Alabama sun and watering once a week almost two years ago. Instead we've decided to not only try our hand at flowers on the front walk, but also some camellia bushes. Why would we do this, you ask? Well because our front walk was in a sad state, and the only greenery was a hideous vine plant left behind by the last owner of our house. The vine, in addition to being displeasing to the eye, carried the added bonus of giving ants and spiders a gateway into the crevices of the house. So, a few weeks ago I pulled that up and we've since replaced it with what will surely be the envy of all the neighbors on Cottage Lane (especially old man Sapperstein who has been in a positive snit lately. He used to speak to us when he was out watering his rose bushes, then he began just nodding. But now, he just pretends he doesn't hear us at all. Well, he can kiss borrowing our snip shears goodbye, that'll show him).

Before...

and...

after...we'll keep you posted.

Now that I've painted the picture of a fully domesticated male, how bout updating you on some manly stuff...like our American Idol Challenge. Yeah! Manly! That Aaron Kelly exudes the same masculinity as all the Old Spice guys put together (Of course, I'm not exactly John Wayne leading with gardening and Idol). The Tone-Deafs - my team - got on the board two weeks ago by correctly predicting Didi was headed home. The score stands at 6-3 in favor of The Ripe Bananas. Dana was more than a little upset that Didi got the boot. I have become more and more detached with every viewing. There is no one on the show that I like that much. Bowersox is the best of the bunch, but really that is like being the best smelling sock in the UT locker room. It was nice to see Mike Lynch in the same room as Ruben Studdard so that it is proven once and for all that they are not the same person.

"I like to wear little hats. They do NOT make me look like a giant."

Speaking of Mike, I don't think I would have been all that upset if he'd been sent home even though it would have been a crushing blow for the Tone-Deafs. He annoys me with all his antics. Someone should let him know that just because a camera is pointed in your direction, you don't have to assault the person sitting next to you or try to contort your face in as many ways as possible.

My favorite moment of last week's viewing came when we had been watching for 10 minutes and Dana commented on how she had actually been liking Kara this episode, that she was the best judge. Kara then immediately rewarded that by singing during Simon's critique of Katie. There's only so many ways I can say this, but I wish I could hire someone to turn a fire hose on Kara every time she began to speak. Nothing good ever happens...ever. At least with the hose, we could look forward to her turn each time.

Going forward, this week I have a rec league game on Tuesday and will miss American Idol, so the Bananas have an advantage in the picking who gets tossed. It's still early though. The main thing is final placements because the top 8 finishers earn the bigger points for our game. Oh yeah, and I heard Adam Lambert was going to be on the show this week. I'm really going to hate to miss his advice to the contestants. "Have you thought about screaming during that part of the song? What about a sitar? Can you work that in? If you follow my instructions, maybe you can finish second like I did."

In other news, Dana won our family's NCAA bracket this year and a grand prize of $1 and some bragging rights. After losing one of her Final Four teams in the first 3 hours of the tournament (Vanderbilt Commodores -- YEEEEEP Yeep yeep pppphhhtt), she was written off. But she hung around and came back and beat her brother out for first. I finished 7th. Dana wins the sports stuff, and I win the Oscar picks and American Idol stuff.

Speaking of the tournament, I have never liked Duke, but was particularly put off by this year's team. Scheyer, Singler, and Zoubek make up the worst threesome in college basketball that I can ever remember.

The Jon Scheyer face...second only to the John Mayer face

They had an easy road to the championship and then fittingly beat a team that everyone else liked. Butler was a tough team that was fun to watch (although not because of their style of play which can be described as Wisconsin-esque), and I was pulling as hard for them as anyone I've ever watched in the tournament. So, it stunk when they came up just short (and even though the refs blew that charging call near the end, they gave Butler almost every break up til then, so we can't fully blame them). Something else I was disappointed in: they had Jennifer Hudson sing One Shining Moment instead of sticking with Luther. Wha?!?! That virtually assures the fact that they're going to 96 teams as they spat in the face of tradition and quality for new and "improved."

With bathing suit season looming and my "fondness" for sun and fun, I've been thinking of ways to try and lose a little weight (I've begun by stopping myself from eating Cadbury Eggs by the handful).

Milk chocolatey goodness leads to buying bigger pants

There's a blogger who posts his weight every few days online in an effort to shame himself into losing a few lbs. I think I may employ this strategy if things get any worse. I think it is important to hit this head-on instead of ignoring it the way Phil Mickelson seems to and just wearing tighter shirts.

Until next time, this is the Jacksons, signing off.

Miley Cyrus? Really?

So what if I almost always catch myself singing along to "Party in the USA." I don't think that qualifies Miley Cyrus to be this week's "mentor." I (and especially Kent) could go on about that for awhile, but I'll get to the actual singing potion of the show.

Kent and I entered Tuesday night's competition with predictions: I chose Paige Miles and was almost immediately satisfied with my choice. Kent chose Andrew Garcia....always a good guess, but somehow he slips through every week. Time will tell. In the meantime, here are some quotes from our living room during last night's broadcast:

"Are we stupid?" -Dana

That's the worst American Idol performance I've heard." -Dana, in reference to Paige Miles

"I just have to hope that Andrew Garcia sucks worse than that." -Kent

"No." -Dana

"UGGGGHHHHHHH" -Dana after witnessing the Tim Urban knee slide. What?

"My team doesn't deserve to win because he's on it." -Kent, in reference to Aaron Kelly

"That rug really ties the room together . . ." -Dana

There weren't many good moments for the show. I thought Didi was good, but the judges proceeded to kill her for being too theatrical. Where was that criticism last season for Adam Lambert??

Sigh....I miss Bo Bice....

And David Cook....

Basketball!!!

"Beware the ides of March..."

Thought I'd post a little something before the Big Dance begins in a couple of minutes. I'll start with entertainment before shifting into basketball.

I think Dana captured our feelings on American Idol perfectly the other day with her post. I don't particularly look forward to anyone singing anything. The strange girl with the strange name is about the only one close. Quite a scream she had the other night and further proof of the old saying "the singer matters more than the song." I'm pretty sure that if Lambert had done that last year, I would have broken the TV with my face. This year? Not so bad (although it was pretty bad).

It is easy to glorify Paula since she's not there and forget how annoying she could be at times, but really the judging this year is atrocious. Along with the usual array of things Kara is capable of, she is now beginning each pontification with at least 10 inconsequential words..."Here's the thing about you that is so you..." "Look, I've gotta be honest about this, you know how I feel..." she reminds me of Nicholas Fein, the political comedian on SNL.

Also, Randy. I noticed last night that his sentence sequences are similar to if you just randomly selected them from several conversations at once, while making sure to tell the audience that he likes music other than R&B. "Dawg, you know how I love you. and I like Rascal Flatts. That song was just not the right choice. You look great. There was just something...ahhhh. I don't know, but you have got some RANGE, dawg. I liked it, but for me it was just tough, you know? E?"

I would have tried to transcribe an actual Randy commentary, but it would be difficult to spell the words he uses sometimes. And as I copied it, it would have made me 4 % dumber.

I like that when Ellen is rough on someone, she always finishes with "I'm sorry." She means it, too.

Next week, Simon and Kara will just share a love seat instead of separate chairs. They might as well at this point.

After one week of the Idol Challenge, The Ripe Bananas and The Tone-Deafs are tied at 0 points. What can I say? we play down to our competition.

Speaking of competition...MARCH MADNESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, I sat through one of the greatest games of my life between Kentucky and Miss St. For the record, I have always despised Miss St and root heavily for them to tank in the SEC tourney if for no other reason than to not have to hear their fight song over and over. It is second only to Rocky Top on the list of songs that make me want to set fire to something.

-short digression while we're here: On Saturday, Kentucky played Tennessee. The place was 95% Kentucky fans during that game, and every time the band played Rocky Top, the Cats fans would launch into their "Go Big Blue" chant and completely drown out the UT band. It was phenomenal. Classy, clean way to obliterate that crime against music. digression over -

Miss St. was knowingly playing for their bid to the NCAAs whereas Kentucky (known to sleepwalk and lose focus this year) was playing for what their coach called a "meaningless tournament championship." It had the makings of an upset. Bullet point observations beginning now:

• Eric Bledsoe is the perfect complement to John Wall. He does all the little things, seems to have no ego about all the attention going to Wall and Cousins, hits big shots, and plays great defense. If I were a Kentucky fan, he may be my favorite on the team. Patterson is the big man version of him, and the right complement to Cousins too. Calipari has been dismissed as an all star team coach, but each player has a clearly defined role on this team.
• Miss St played with SO much heart. They had three guards whose names I've forgotten. But they all looked the exact same, had similar numbers, and banged home huge threes at big moments. Every time the crowd would get loud and Kentucky would have them on the ropes, here came a big shot from these nameless killers. As Raftery would say, "Onions!!!"
• Stansbury has been called the Gottfried counter part. I agree that they are very similar (dirty recruiting, not good with X and O, slimey), but I'll give him this over Gottfried: he is an active coach. Shouting instructions, animated, uses timeouts well...he at least has a pulse over there.
• John Wall in person is a different experience than on TV. I knew it going in, but it was strking how fast and athletic he is. He didn't shoot that well in either game I saw, but his slashing on fast breaks was incredible.
• DeMarcus Cousins - the Manny Ramirez of college basketball. You HAVE to put him in the game. Just when you want to write him off as a head case, he plays big. He is maddening. I want to hate him, then I want to like him. Whichever mindset I'm in, he does the opposite. George Costanza as a 6'10 black dude.
• As always, the UK fans do not disappoint. They are friendly, cheer at the right times, know the game very well as a whole, and are dedicated to affecting the game...which they do every time.
• Back to Bledsoe. He was somewhat brushed past on this, but he goes to the line down 3. He HAS to make the first one and swishes it under pressure. Then he pulls off the perfect miss. so many guys fling it 90 miles an hour at the rim and end up messing the whole thing up. Bledsoe went about it with smarts...arc it high, allow your rebounders time to push in, and it nicked the rim perfectly allowing UK one more chance. Everyone focused on Wall's rundown, and Cousins' putback. Bledsoe made just as big a play.
• Everyone asks me how loud it got when cousins made the shot. It wasn't as loud as you'd think because half the fans weren't sure he got it off. It was louder when Wall hit the three in OT. It was also loud the entire game against UT...which was nice.
• The reason I rank this as the best game I've ever been to is the quality of the play. It had everything: something on the line, great offensive plays, fast breaks, timely shooting, coaching moves that meant something. But I really think what I'll remember most was the feel of back and forth. Comebacks are great (and this one had a small one with UK down 5 really late), but when two teams trade baskets all game, it makes for better theatre.

I have filled out 4 brackets and don't feel good about any of them. I have Syracuse winning the whole thing. Kansas, Nova, and Kentucky in the Final Four. My Cinderella pick - UTEP. Because it is Spring Break for me, I am able to sit back with some buddies today and soak in the Madness...God bless it! Maybe next year, Alabama will actually make it in.

Return of the Idol Challenge

"But we have to watch. It's the last season." -Dana

Welcome back everyone for 2010's installment of our Idol Challenge. As some of you may remember, Kent and his team, Gentle's Giants, came away victorious with Kris Allen being crowned the winner last season. But really, we were all winners because Adam Lambert was the loser.

We enter this season a bit disheartened by the loss of talent and mullets that occurred last week. RIP Alex, Lilly, and Katelyn....we'll even miss Todrick and his kind of ridiculous performances. At least he could dance. We thought this game was essential last year, until we saw what we're working with this year. Now the game is a matter of life or death for our Idol viewership.

But the show must go on, and we have selected our teams in anticipation of Tuesday night's episode. Theme: Rolling Stones....appropriate because we're short on "satisfaction" thus far.

This year's challengers: The Ripe Bananas, consisting of

• Crystal Bowersox....Mother and harmonica player extraordinaire
• Didi Benami....She had one really good performance, and that was enough for me.
• Siobhan Magnus...weird name, good voice
• Tim Urban....He's so nice; I have to root for him. I'll forgive him for his Week 1 performance.
• Andrew Garcia....girly pop song remaker, next to last pick
• Paige Miles....last pick

The Defending Champions: Formerly "Gentle's Giants" and this year, "The Tone-Deafs" (Kent is NOT enthusiastic about this year's group)

• Casey James...the one Kara is insufferable about (although that is not really specific)
• Mike Lynch...the big guy who is not as good as they act like
• Lee Dewyze...Gokey's voice, Grits' face
• Lacey Brown...I didn't want her
• Aaron Kelly...the reason Kent hates his team
• Katie Stevens...rated slightly ahead of Paige Miles

So, there you have it. Before you think we're hateful and cynical, and wonder why we would watch something that seems to annoy us so much, well....good question. I'll refer to the opening line of this post. Plus, the Idol Challenge is actually quite fun, even if it only averages 2 good performances and one coherent judging comment per week. Stay tuned!

(It's going to be a LONG season)

A Promotional Top 5

I feel like every time I post something it begins with "It's been too long..." Maybe that's true, but if you take the same amount of time between posts, then you're right on schedule - just a crappy schedule. So, "It's been a long time since my last post" may be the new opener.

Dana had some good news at work this week. Big promotion for her! Guess what her idiot husband said. "Hey hon, let's go out and have a nice dinner and then I'll take you to a movie." Sounds nice on the surface. Unfortunately, the movie portion was limited by selection since we have an unspoken Avatar boycott happening (the whole 'if enough people tell you you HAVE to do something, then you WON'T do it' thing...by the way, you HAVE to watch The Wire). Back to the story, I had read Shutter Island in the fall and thought it would make a great movie, although the book was only fair. Scorcese, DiCaprio making a thriller seemed like a can't miss. Of course, if you know Dana, this next part will not surprise you. The last thriller that she watched with me was The Silence of the Lambs...when we were dating...when we were both trying to impress the other one with how "cool" we were...she hates thrillers because they freak her out - too scary for her.

Why did I lose sight of this? I am not smart.

In short, Dana's celebration night now gives her nightmares - nice work, Kent. Dana leaned over to me as the end credits began to roll and said, "Ohhh, you are going to pay for this one."

The movie is good, by the way. It gets a bit graphic and unpleasant with regard to Leo's inner-demons, but I thought it was better than the book.

This situation got me thinking about a top 5 "little things that make Dana, Dana."

1. The first walk of the day On the weekends, I'm cursed by not being able to sleep past 8. So I always get up and go out and read or watch TV. About an hour or so later comes a sound that means Dana is awake. Imagine the sound of a guy at a hardware store dragging a bag of feed across the floor, but stopping and then restarting every few inches. This is the sound of Dana dragging her slippered feet down the hallway to the den. In looking at that, it sounds like I don't like it. I do. It cracks me up every time. After about ten paces, she comes around the hall corner into view with her eyes half open and says incredulously, "When did you get UP?"

2. The fear of getting caught We love movie candy. We sneak it into every movie we ever go to and over the years have saved somewhere between 10 and 15,000 dollars by doing that. Once, I got a little greedy and asked Dana to sneak a fountain drink for me in her purse(the top was firmly affixed to prevent any spillage). She reluctantly agreed. As we approached the gate where they tear your ticket, we both saw that in addition to the usual acne-ridden 16-year-old ticket taker, was a manager in jacket and tie looking on and evaluating the kid. The phrase "seized by fear" would be the best way to describe Dana's reaction to this. Her pace slowed, her face changed, her grip on my hand tightened, and she whispered to me in frightened sentences about how "they KNOW, they KNOW!" We walked right in, and I enjoyed an ice-cold Coca Cola classic to complement my Twizzlers. I'm pretty sure we went to see a drama that day, but I had several hearty laughs in the theater.

3. The thermometer readings The thermometer in our house is not accurate. We need a new one. I've never seen a reading of 98.6 on it. It goes anywhere from 97.1 to 104.3, but it never seems to reflect anything that would be helpful or informative. I think Dana checks her temperature twice a week. She'll get a headache or stomach ache and check it. When the little thing beeps that it has a reading she takes it out, looks at it, and then silently puts it down. I'll ask what it said and she'll respond with some number that either means she passed away 30 minutes ago, or needs to immediately be thrown into a tub of ice water. But if I irritate her about it, she'll say "Stop, I have a feeee-ver!" It slays me.

By the way, as I read these, I feel like if Dana did one of these about me it would just be "Kent tries to irritate me" 5 different ways.

4. Her never-ending love for Kissyfur Whenever we see an animal of any kind, it is accompanied by Dana saying either "I love Kissyfur," or "I miss Kissyfur." She's asked me before if I think that when we die, do I think Kissyfur will be in Heaven.

Nothing will ever top Kissyfur. Pistol could come into the house and recite the preamble in a little dog voice, and Dana would turn to me after and say, "I miss Kissyfur." It is like clockwork: animal, a few beats while she reflects, "I miss Kissyfur."

5. The parking spot point-out Whenever we go somewhere that has a parking lot of more than 20 spots, it reveals Dana's and my divergent philosophies about parking. Luck usually determines whose philosophy is correct. Dana likes to find the closest spot and will patiently wait for it until it appears. I feel like the waiting negates the closeness. That if you just park in an average or even "bad" spot, it would take the same amount of time to walk in as it would to wait and then park. But it has become a joke now that when I do park, Dana waits until I'm halfway into the turn-in to point out another spot that would have been better. And of course, as we walk in, she takes great joy in pointing to the many spots that would have been closer/better/not as long a walk in this freezing temperature. It usually leads to a "sliding doors" speculation about how much better our trip to Target would have been if I'd listened to her, but instead, we are doomed to our spot in parking hell because of my impatience to wait for "that spot...that spot...that spot."

All of these are things that make her my wife. And I love them. Congratulations on the promotion! I am so proud of you!